The Super Mario Bros Unofficial Novel
by Dr.MarioandE.Gadd
Summary: Mario, Luigi, and Toad go on a quest to save Princess Peach from the VICIOUS Bowser!


Part 1 Chapter 1:Peach.

I am lying awake on my bed, just thinking about my royal coronation and eighteenth birthday, when suddenly, my royal assistant, Toadsworth, cried, "Your highness, your coronation starts in… FIVE MINUETS!?"

"Fine…" I sigh heavily, "I'll be there soon."

"Your highness, four minuets!"

"I'll be there in three minuets!" _He is SO annoying!_ I think as he exits my room. Why put a hassle on TWO big days in ONE?!

We then order pizza from Blue and Yellow's pizza service, but then the pipes have a total meltdown! "Oh dear," says Toadbert, the royal nerd, "the pipes have been busted, by boogity!"

"I'll call the Super Mario Bros!" yells our greatest adventurer, Toadette. I peek out the curtain. Everyone in the kingdom has showed up! And not just that, but others, too! Daisy, queen of Sarssaland, Dr. Toadly, seventeen thousand bob-omb buddies, and even three Monty Moles! Then the doorbell rings.

Twice.

It's Mario, Luigi, Yellow Toad, and Blue Toad. I think I see a Yoshi hooked up to Mario's wagon, but that's absurd. "The pipes are over there." I say, pointing to what used to be the bathroom, but is now flames and rubble. A huge hole was formed in the roof, and a gaunt, spike-shelled, yellow, 20 foot-tall, red haired, horned turtle is staring at me through the hole… Within seconds, he snatches me and yells, "I'm Bowser, king of the koopa, and I'm gonna marry Peach and rule the Mushroom kingdom!"

WORST.

BIRTHDAY.

EVER.

Chapter 2:Toad.

The princess's four royal guards look at us, give us their badges, and run away. "COWARDS!" I yell. Yellow Toad glances at me. He hesitates, gives me his badge, and yells, "Me ,too!" I look at Mario he has a heroic face on. I think he had too much coffee this morning. "Come on, guys!" he says. "Let's go save the princess!" Me and Luigi stare at him. "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" I scream. I do that a lot. They say I'm a coward. They also say I'm hypocritical, because I call other people cowards. "Sure we will!" Mario responds. "But our lives are already terrible anyway!"

"OK!" I agree. (oops. BIG mistake.) Then we head off. Sure, Luigi trips a couple of times, but who cares, really? We then stop at a place called, " _Boom-Boom's rest stop._ " What a strange name! then we see why. "Hi, my name is Boom-Boom, and this is my wife, Pom-Pom," says an Australian six-foot orange turtle hugging a red-and-pink version of him.

"Sorry, but we don't like your business in our kingdom."

"Huh?" All four of us say at the same time.

"GET THEM!" cries Boom-Boom. Suddenly, forty muffin-like creatures and two legged turtles crawl out of trap doors at our feet. I freak out, and cling to a ceiling light, of course. "Toad, you coward!" Mario yells at me from below. I feel ashamed.

After a while, all the enemies are down, but it takes hours to get Boom-Boom and Pom-Pom into a trap door, and even longer to get me off the ceiling! "Toad, get down," Luigi calls. "you're being historical!"

"NO!" I respond. "NOT AFTER WHAT I SAW!" But in time, I finally do get down. Mario and Luigi exchange looks to each other. And then to me. I blush. "S-sorry, guys." I whimper. "They do say I'm a coward…"

"You're not a coward," Mario says, gently. "You just need more experience!"

"Thanks, Mario."

"Uh… I'm also present." Luigi comments. We laugh.

Chapter 3:Luigi.

Okay, first off, I never agreed to this journey. It was all Mario's idea! In fact, it was ALLWAYS Mario's idea! I never get an opinion on anything! It's so unfair! I just- "Luigi?" I just want to- "LUIGI!" It's Mario.

"Huh?" I say. "Sorry, I blacked out a little there,"

"Well, we made it to a cave!" I look up. A cave with a symbol that looks like this

was towering twelve feet above us. A tortoise-looking man with glasses stepped out saying, "Quick, hide in here!" Once we get in, he announces his name is Larry the lakitu. "I fly around the kingdom on my cloud to hide from the goombas and koopas."

"Goombas?" Mario asks. "Koopas? Where ARE we?!"

"You are in the Koopa Kingdom." says a voice from below Lakitu the lakitu. To our surprise, it is a talking cloud! "Here, take these," Lakitu says, handing us red-hot seeds. "They will help you on your quest."

"What are they?" I ask.

"Fire-flowers. Also, take these as well." Lakitu responds, handing us yellow flower pots with question marks on them.

"But, what's with the turtles and muffins?"

"Well, an evil magikoopa called Kamek mutated all sorts of reptiles and amphibians. One included Bowser, our evil king. Kamek serves him as the royal advisor. and your princess will never be safe."

"Uh… it's getting late," Toad says, "let's hit the hay." I have to sleep next to Mario. Great.

The cave rumbles. A voice from above yells, "Out, puny humans!"

"It's Kamek!" Lakitu screams. "Hurry, get out!" I'm still asleep.

"LUIGI!" Mario and Toad yell at the time. A rock falls down and just misses me. We shriek as we dash towards the exit. There's pushing, shoving, scratches, all the usual stuff. Then we see them. Our fire-flowers! As we grab them, flashes are everywhere! I feel hot. As I block my face with my hands, fire bursts out! "So that's why it's called a 'fire' flower!" I say, as a rock is burned to crisp. We run away, blasting goombas and koopas as we get closer and closer to the castle. Then we crash into a haunted-looking house that wasn't there before…

Chapter 4:Mario.

"What?" I say, confused.

"That's wired." Luigi responds.

And creepy!" Toad adds.

As we enter we hear high-pitched childish laughter, and it's coming from an eerie, ghost-like figure!

Luigi screams and the door slams shut. I shoot a fireball, but it goes straight through him, burning a painting. We face our fears look at it. It covers its face and blushes. "Those ghosts are afraid of HUMANS!?" I say, surprised. On our way, we stare at every ghost until the back door. I'm gonna call that a Boo. When we leave we notice that the house is completely GONE! "Mario, how is that possible!?" Luigi asks.

"Ghost powers, I guess." I respond. As we continue our quest, we make multiple rest stops, destroying waves of goombas or koopas, but it's still great.

We have made it to the city. Up in a tower, we see the princess. "Mario!" she yells. "Peach!" I call back.

"Save me, Mario!" Then the craziest thing happens. Bower's castle blasts off into the sky!

Then I see him.

Toad.

He's clinging to a tower, screaming things like, "I'll save you, Peach!" or, "I've got this!" But before long, he is captured too. Luigi faints. I put him in the wagon. "Carry him home, Yoshi." I tell my dinosaur friend, as he pulls away the wagon. I wonder how I will save Peach…

Chapter:5 Yellow.

"Hi, my name is Yellow, legal Toad citizen, twenty-one years old." I say to my viewers. Yes, I have my own podcast. But I have to stop there, because my power just went down! I check my fuse box, which is now wrinkled and covered in vines. _Spiky_ vines. As I reach my arm close to grab it,

chills are running through my spine! Then, a giant spotted flytrap jumps at me! "AAAARGH!" I scream. I sure hope that this isn't still recording, because that would be embarrassing. As I stumble across the room, I grab the sharpest thing I could find-a poker. As stab the venomous, violent, Venus, I stumble out the door and into the street, where everyone can see. The royalty, the cops, the teachers, the store owners, the teens, and fans. MY fans. Seeing me lose a fight with a plant, everyone, (LITERALY, everyone,) pulls out their Y-phones, and gets pictures of me losing to a 2-foot tall flower! Bowser's flower! Or is it… Flowser? I'm just going to call them… piranha plants!

Chapter 6: Paraplonk.

I feel used. You probably don't know who I am, either. Well, for your information, I am the great, winged corporal of the koopa, Corporal Paraplonk! And yet, Bowser said that I'll be useless when Mario is dead, unless I can do anything to stop Toadstool from escaping. WOW. What a huge job! I am SO dead! I asked Kamek if it was true, and he said yes, along with, "GET OUT OF MY ROOM," and, "YOU PINHEAD!" So yeah, we're pretty much friends. I look in the cell, and it's empty! I get in my SELF to in to investigate. All of a sudden, Peach drops from the ceiling and onto my back! The goombas have to chain her to the wall, even! Toad is able to roam free, because he didn't do anything. We put chain-chomps in with her, but alas, that doesn't work. (OBVIOUSLY!) We decide to guard her with bullet-bills, too. She wouldn't risk being shot, would she? But, then again, Isn't this

…

wrong?

Chapter 7: Mario.

I notice an escape pod. I rush to get it, but something pierces my shoe! I look up to see a spiked concrete wall with… a face!

"I AM THWOMP!" He yells. "MY JOB IS TO STOMP ANYONE WHO IS AN INTRUDERRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…" He falls to the ground, unconscious. Behind him was my dinosaur friend, Yoshi! "Walla-hoo!" he yells, happily.

"Go home, boy!"

"Yoshi!"

"I SAID GO HOME!"

He trots away, as I enter the pod. As I soar through the sky, I see Boom-boom, Pom-pom, Lakitu, and the remains of the castle, even! At last I have made it. I have made it to Bowser's castle. As I creep through the doors, I see creepy everything! Creepy doors, creepy statues, Ah-ha! Bowser! But, he's towering twenty feet above me. Wait… now he's shrinking! fifteen feet, twelve and a half feet, and now ten! "Just to make things fair…" he says, smirking. "ish." He stinks that in way, even though I just me him! Yeah, he's THAT bad! He captured a princess, blasted his castle away, and cheated! Who even DOES that!? Oh, yeah. Bowser.

Chapter 8: Lifeless Wall.

I'm just a lifeless wall, so this will probably just be third person, okay? Okay. Bowser shoots fireballs, saying, "YOU'RE _TOAST,_ MARIO!"

"Shut your cake-hole, turtle-brain!" says Mario

"Okay."

"…so…Let's get back to fighting, shall we?" said Mario, jumping on Bowser's head,

"Oh it's on NOW!" Bowser yelled.

Two hours later, Mario is thinking, "Hmmm… I wonder how I could win…"

And Bowser's thinking, "Hmmm… I wonder if... that wall… can read minds…"

WELL I CAN, PINHEAD! Anyway, back to the fight: Bowser's shootn' fireballs like a cool person, and Mario's floppn' around like a less cool boneless chicken salad.

Chapter 9: Mario.

I'm floppn' around like a less cool boneless chicken salad! "Pfffttt!" Bowser grunts. "Puny humans! All they do is flop around like less cool boneless chicken salads!"

"I KNOW!" I yell back.

Then I know something else. There is an axe on a rope on the bridge.

I wonder if I could get there before Bowser. But then I think of more important things, like how I could get out in time, what I'm gonna eat for dinner, or if I'll even SURVIVE! Meh. I'll take my chances. I jump over Bowser, doing a triple-flip, (for style, of course,). Then I land on the rock and release the axe! I dash off the collapsing bridge, and Bowser dies trying. then I go up the one hundred stairs, and get the princess.

Chapter 10: Peach.

It has been a week since my castle was destroyed, and two-to-three hours since Toad got here! "It's a me-a! MAAAAaaario!" Mario yells, bursting through the bars!

"Not so fast, Mario!" I respond, "My castle is still DESTROYED!"

"I can help!" calls a man wearing glasses and a… cloud? "Lakitu!" yells Mario.

"Laki-who?" I ask.

"BEHOLD!" he says, ignoring me! "The fix-cube!"

"Um…" he taps the star, and my castle quickly rebuilds itself! Everything is the same, except for our new heroes, Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, and Toad, who each have three holidays and twelve parades.

THE END


End file.
